FERG You shall be saved!

<body background="cool_paper.jpg"> <table border=4> <tr> <td> <table> <tr> <td><img src="ferga.gif" width=100 height=100 alt="picture of FERG, He Shall Heal Thee"> <td><font size="+2">FERG is here to save the day. Read the word of <blink>FERG</blink> and You shall be <blink>SAVED</blink> from your own damnation!<br></font></td> </tr> </table> </td> </tr> <tr> <td> <table> <tr> <td align=center><img src="flyferga.gif" width=600 height=50></td> <td align=center>that is a flying ferg</td> </tr> <tr> <td align=center><img src="hooka.gif" width=600 height=35></td> <td align=center>and that was a flying hook</td> </tr> </table> </td> </tr> </table> "Has the word of Ferg not changed thy motions?"<br> <P align=center><em>Ferg:disciples:11:17<br> -Guy (3/24/1997)</em></P> <P>"One person can listen to the same 2 chords over and over again many times, but 2 chords can not listen to the same person as easily"<br> <P align=center><em>Ferg:ramblings:12:13<br> -Guy (3/24/1997)</em></P> "A bird in the hand is worth about $1.95. Of course, that was 1989 dollars, so with inflation, it's more like $3.75. Unless it is a really nice bird, a whooping crane, maybe, or that kind of bird that sells Fruit Loops. You could fetch up to $5.99 for one of them."<br> <P align=center><em>Ferg:Salivations:4:20<br> -Mike (3/25/1997)</em></P> "Thou shalt not stick thy fingers into the openings possessed by others for there own visual perception, unless thou art one with the stooges of three."<br> <P align=center><em>Ferg:unknown:1:0<br> -Guy (3/26/1997)</em></P> "Friendly fire' isn't."<br> <P align=center><em>Ferg:Drunken Rants:1,397:79<br> -Mike (3/26/1997)</em></P> "While walking on the street, it is imperitive that you do not believe yourself to be a car, this can be dangerous."<br> <P align=center><em>Ferg:Ferg and the DMV:1020:316<br> -Guy (3/26/1997)</em></P> "And lo, the mighty Ferg made the hook and did look upon it. He saw the hook was good, said it was good, and it was okay, he supposed."<br> <P align=center><em>Ferg:Ferg does Dallas:23 1/3:69<br> -Mike (3/26/1997)</em></P> "If at first thou dost not succeed, thou shalt redefine success."<br> <P align=center><em>Ferg:Prophetic Stuff:6:18b<br> -Mike (3/27/1997)</em></P> "If a tree falls in the forest, and you are there to hear it, then you should listen to it, for how often are you in the forest? But, if a tree falls in the forest, and only gnomes are there to hear it, then who should care for who believes in gnomes anyway?"<br> <P align=center><em>Ferg:gnoshing and cheese:1:4<br> -Guy (3/28/1997)</em></P> "and the multitudes said, bring us your cheese, and the cheese was brought forth. Upon the entering of the cheese there was much rejoiceing. And the cheese said, bring me the multitudes, and it ate them, then there was no one to rejoice but the cheese."<br> <P align=center><em>Ferg:silly dreams with cows:1:1<br> -Guy (3/28/1997)</em></P> "Happiness is a strong alibi."<br> <P align=center><em>Ferg:Aworkingmens Hypocracies:3902:3A10<br> -Mike (?/?/1997)</em></P> "A friend is someone who, when you feel like you want to cut out your own heart rip it into pieces, throw it on the ground, and have others perform a satanic ritual using it, but realize that you can't be alive to do it on your own, is willing to do it for you."<br> <P align=center><em>Ferg:The book of Steve:1:1<br> -Steve (3/31/1997)</em></P> "If it were not for bad luck, I wouldst not have any at all."<br> <P align=center><em>Ferg:Bummers:765:490,001<br> -Mike (4/5/1997)</em></P> "You ask me what is on the other side of the mountain? I tell you, it is great lizards and things of mild disproportionate length and size flatuating in a disorganized ritual of some sort. I ask of thee, does that answer your question?"<br> <P align=center><em>Ferg:we think he was on acid:7:2<br> -Guy (4/8/1997)</em></P> "Thou must never, ever, call your hairdresser a panzy."<br> <P align=center><em>Ferg:Bad Hair Days:18:12<br> -Mike (4/8/1997)</em></P> "It is not wise to pick on someone twice your size.<br> <P align=center><em>Ferg:Book of Black and Blue:1:1<br> -Steve (4/10/1997)</em></P> "Let sleeping Fred's remain sleeping"<br> <p align=center><em>Ferg:Bokk of Black and Blue:3:10<br> -Steve (4/10/1997)</em></p> "In his ultimate wisdom, ferg created man. Then one day, when he saw that man was bored, he created woman. Unfortunately, he didn't realize that woman would dominate over man. To correct his error, Ferg made children."<br> <p align=center><em>Ferg:Creation:1:17<br> -anonymous(steve) (4/11/1997)</em></p> "ug, mna, dududududu"<br> <p align=center><em>Ferg:sleeping:7:13<br> -Guy (4/11/1997)</em></p> "Thou shalt be excellent to each other, and thou shalt also party on, my dude brethren."<br> <p align=center><em>Ferg:Ferg's Excellent Adventure:55:9<br> -Mike (4/15/1997)</em></p> "one and two and one and two and one and two"<br> <p align=center><em>Ferg:sweating to the newbies:1:7<br> -Guy (4/18/1997)</em></p> "and then ferg said unto the masses, spandex is a priviledge not a right my children"<br> <p align=center><em>Ferg:priviledges and permissions:7:1<br> -Batman1621@aol.com (4/21/1997)</em></p> "And the great Ferg did lay his hand upon my countenence, and lo, my terminal acne did vanish, reappearing on my hindquarters."<br> <p align=center><em>Ferg:Half-Assed Miracles:2:30<br> -Mike (4/29/1997)</em></p> "And then, as the sons of the great men before them looked at their fathers there was great thought. Johnson looked upon his father John, and he was content. Thompson looked upon his father Tom, and he was confounded. Jackson looked upon his father and noticed he was white, I mean Jack. Michaelson looked upon his father Michael and wet his pants. Then the multitudes looked upon one in the crowd. His name was Ferguson, and he asked the masses, who is my father. And then there was much questioning and confounding and eating of cheese before the elder of the village, Ahmed Agrama, came upon Ferguson and prodded him with his rod. Aha, he exclaimed, if their fathers are their namesake, then you shall be too. You father was a great being, he was named Ferg. I was told this by Ulpio and Ulpio before him! And there was much rejoicing and merryiment."<br> <p align=center><em>Ferguson:In the beginning:1:1<br> -Guy (4/29/1997)</em></p> "Let he among you without sin tell me how you could live such a boring life."<br> <p align=center><em>Ferg:Admonishings:7:3.14<br> -Mike (4/30/1997)</em></p> </body>